Three recent college graduates are sitting Funny Jokes 06

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Three recent college graduates are sitting next to each other on a plane.
The one in the middle turns to the one on the left and engages him in a conversation.
“What did you study in college?”
“I studied theology,” he replied. “After graduating,

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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at th

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The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 betThe bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patronAnyone who could squeeze one more drop

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This is one such story.The Captain called the Sergeant in“Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday.  You better go tell him and send him in to see me.”So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troop

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There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.The next day at 8:45 is t

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A pastor, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers.One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the enti

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A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,“Where did you get that truck?!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”“With what money?” demanded his parents.They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche

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During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.I waded along the edge of a lakeI pushed my

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The villagers were delighted.A sadhu who performed miracles, had come to their village.Every morning and evening they would gather at the temple with specially prepared delicacies as offerings to the sadhu.When Tenali Rama heard of this, he smelt a rat.He

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A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t

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This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off,“A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 57 times l

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So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont

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Wife: Doing her makeup early morning straight out from BedHusband: Are you crazyWife: Just shut up, I need to unlock my phone.Its on face recognition feature and it is not recognizing me.Husband: Laughing Loudly

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Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls.
After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have noth

15.



Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.
Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated,…
Cab driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.
He started the engine, turned it off again and said:
“We have reac

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A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.”The professor says “I'll be an elementary school teacherWhat can be so hard abo

17.



Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped.
The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it.
The he gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his ‘Vette, and they both

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Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstoreJacob suggests that they go inHe addresses the man behind the counter:“Are you the owner?” T

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When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald

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Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while.  Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerati

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A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.As the bartender gives her the drink she says,“I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today…”The bartender says,“Well since it's your birthday, I'll buy

22.



Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children.
He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job.
Except for Sund

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The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left.Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book'.The librarian handed the chicken a different book and the chicken left.Ten minutes later, the

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A guy burned both of his ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
He said, “I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang… So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear…”
“But how the heck did you burn the othe

25.



A little old lady checked into a motel on her 70th birthday, but she was a bit lonely.
She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”
She looked through the phone book, found a full-

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Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m.I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days.Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and s

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Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve.
He would complain about everything. One day he went to their creek with his mule.
He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.
At the funeral,

28.



Three newlywed men were discussing their wives.The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking.The first day I didn't see anything, but on the second day, she fell into line.The second guy married a Minnesota gal; he

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There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her b*obs would increase by one size.
So t

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The old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two