1.
A man is talking to the family doctor:,..
“Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf.”
The doctor answers:,..
“Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing.
Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn
A man is talking to the family doctor:,..
“Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf.”
The doctor answers:,..
“Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing.
Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn
2.
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the “Chicken Surprise.” The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady l
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the “Chicken Surprise.” The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady l
3.
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
4.
A store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plantA store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plant he spotted during his last trip through a part of the countryside in the hopes of gaining another client in the area.However, little did B
A store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plantA store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plant he spotted during his last trip through a part of the countryside in the hopes of gaining another client in the area.However, little did B
5.
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
6.
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
7.
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years,
they always left the lights off when having fun.
He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big di*do on her.
All these years she had no clu
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years,
they always left the lights off when having fun.
He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big di*do on her.
All these years she had no clu
8.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
9.
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day.
The man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and me
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day.
The man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and me
10.
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”Officer: “Okay, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a high
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”Officer: “Okay, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a high
11.
This story is a hilarious example of just that.An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you're drinking?”The patien
This story is a hilarious example of just that.An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you're drinking?”The patien
12.
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
13.
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
14.
A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night:
He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.
He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one ont
A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night:
He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.
He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one ont
15.
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
16.
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
17.
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date.
When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.
“Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date.
When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.
“Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s
18.
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
19.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of
20.
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said;
“Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithf
A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said;
“Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithf
21.
A travelling salesman was passing through the countryside and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water.
The old farmer’s wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.
They sat and talked for a while w
A travelling salesman was passing through the countryside and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water.
The old farmer’s wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.
They sat and talked for a while w
22.
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next t
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next t
23.
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.Finally his
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.Finally his
24.
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
25.
A husband and wife have four sons.
The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be tot
A husband and wife have four sons.
The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be tot
26.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.“Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher“Walking is esp
The Lamaze class was in full swing.The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.“Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher“Walking is esp
27.
While riding my Harley the other day, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very
While riding my Harley the other day, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very
28.
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a Texas game wardenThe game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?”“Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.”“
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a Texas game wardenThe game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?”“Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.”“
29.
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money.
The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public.
But
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money.
The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public.
But
30.
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in.
The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have such good health?”
The old-timer said,
“I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up before dayl