1.
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery,
and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes Dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervo
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery,
and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes Dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervo
2.
The pastor stood before the congregation and said;“I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.”The congregation got quiet.“The bad news is: the church needs a new roof!” the pastor said.The congregation groaned.“The good news is: we have
The pastor stood before the congregation and said;“I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.”The congregation got quiet.“The bad news is: the church needs a new roof!” the pastor said.The congregation groaned.“The good news is: we have
3.
Two factory workers are talking.The woman said, “I know how to get some time off from work!”“How?” asked the man.“Watch this,” said the woman.She climbed up to the rafter and hanged upside down.The boss walked in, saw her and said, “What on earth are you
Two factory workers are talking.The woman said, “I know how to get some time off from work!”“How?” asked the man.“Watch this,” said the woman.She climbed up to the rafter and hanged upside down.The boss walked in, saw her and said, “What on earth are you
4.
… heading downtown to go to the movies, when a young punk got on.She had spiked, multi-colored hair that was green, purple, and orange.Her clothes were a tattered mix of leather rags, her legs were bare and she was wearing worn-out shoes. Her entire face
… heading downtown to go to the movies, when a young punk got on.She had spiked, multi-colored hair that was green, purple, and orange.Her clothes were a tattered mix of leather rags, her legs were bare and she was wearing worn-out shoes. Her entire face
5.
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you’ve never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the villagers. The villagers, you see, wanted to schedule a race so that they could support their compulsive gambling habits,
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you’ve never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the villagers. The villagers, you see, wanted to schedule a race so that they could support their compulsive gambling habits,
6.
He says, ‘I hear you Irish are damn good drinkersI'll bet 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.'The room is quiet and no-one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.Thirty minutes later the same
He says, ‘I hear you Irish are damn good drinkersI'll bet 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.'The room is quiet and no-one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.Thirty minutes later the same
7.
One night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames.The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the c
One night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames.The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the c
8.
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
9.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob's wife goes out a
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob's wife goes out a
10.
A tail gunner was being court-martialed.“What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer.“Well,” replied the airman“I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o'clock!”“What action did you take?' persisted another officer.“Why,
A tail gunner was being court-martialed.“What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer.“Well,” replied the airman“I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o'clock!”“What action did you take?' persisted another officer.“Why,
11.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.They've got the whole thing a.s-backwards.Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You sh
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.They've got the whole thing a.s-backwards.Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You sh
12.
A woman is at the funeral of her husband, everyone is going up to say kind words about him, when one man turns around to the wife and says,“Would you mind if i went up and said a few words?”She replied, “Of course not, please feel free to.”So the man walk
A woman is at the funeral of her husband, everyone is going up to say kind words about him, when one man turns around to the wife and says,“Would you mind if i went up and said a few words?”She replied, “Of course not, please feel free to.”So the man walk
13.
Girl taunts old man and asks if he ever did anything wildheading downtown to go to the movies, when a young punk got on.She had spiked, multi-colored hair that was green, purple, and orange.Her clothes were a tattered mix of leather rags, her legs were ba
Girl taunts old man and asks if he ever did anything wildheading downtown to go to the movies, when a young punk got on.She had spiked, multi-colored hair that was green, purple, and orange.Her clothes were a tattered mix of leather rags, her legs were ba
14.
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
15.
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a politician happened to appear.
The politician took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
‘Would you mind te
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a politician happened to appear.
The politician took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
‘Would you mind te
16.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
17.
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However he was delayed, so the Priest
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However he was delayed, so the Priest
18.
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves.He had the manager try them on.She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up.When the manager gave him the gift she accidently gave him a pair of panties instead.When the g
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves.He had the manager try them on.She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up.When the manager gave him the gift she accidently gave him a pair of panties instead.When the g
19.
The villagers were delighted.A sadhu who performed miracles, had come to their village.Every morning and evening they would gather at the temple with specially prepared delicacies as offerings to the sadhu.When Tenali Rama heard of this, he smelt a rat.He
The villagers were delighted.A sadhu who performed miracles, had come to their village.Every morning and evening they would gather at the temple with specially prepared delicacies as offerings to the sadhu.When Tenali Rama heard of this, he smelt a rat.He
20.
A woman gets cheated by her husband.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life.She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, sh
A woman gets cheated by her husband.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life.She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, sh
21.
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, “Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me to
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, “Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me to
22.
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park.“What's that?” says the Texan.“Oh! That's Queens Park,” says the Cabby, “
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park.“What's that?” says the Texan.“Oh! That's Queens Park,” says the Cabby, “
23.
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, its Rajaram I'm on
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, its Rajaram I'm on
24.
I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible.I was put in a team with my little brother.After searching for a good spot we
I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible.I was put in a team with my little brother.After searching for a good spot we
25.
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
26.
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
27.
Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
“What’s wrong?” gasps her best friend Carol.
“It’s my boyfriend.” gushes Judi.
“He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!”
“My god”, shrie
Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
“What’s wrong?” gasps her best friend Carol.
“It’s my boyfriend.” gushes Judi.
“He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!”
“My god”, shrie
28.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.Before she says a word, B
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.Before she says a word, B
29.
An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing.
Both were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs.
When suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, and
An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing.
Both were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs.
When suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, and
30.
When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous.
I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous “first date” vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transplant some bees to a
When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous.
I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous “first date” vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transplant some bees to a
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