1.
1Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?2There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he we
1Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?2There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he we
2.
The MI6, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals.
The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in.
The MI6, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals.
The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in.
3.
So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”He replied, “It w
So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”He replied, “It w
4.
Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the wilderness of Canadian to bag moose.As the seaplane landed on the lake in a remote area, the pilot said, “I'll be back in exactly one week to pick you upBut remember – only one moose, please.”When he return
Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the wilderness of Canadian to bag moose.As the seaplane landed on the lake in a remote area, the pilot said, “I'll be back in exactly one week to pick you upBut remember – only one moose, please.”When he return
5.
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.“Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delici
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.“Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delici
6.
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatche
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatche
7.
One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room.The first boy leans over and asks, “What are you in for?”“I'm here to get my tonsils out and I'm nervous,” the second boy says.The first kid
One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room.The first boy leans over and asks, “What are you in for?”“I'm here to get my tonsils out and I'm nervous,” the second boy says.The first kid
8.
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
9.
A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.She wanted to make sure that the c
A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.She wanted to make sure that the c
10.
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
11.
Suddenly, the captain announces over the public address system, “Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say that I have some bad news. Our engines are malfunctioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we
Suddenly, the captain announces over the public address system, “Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say that I have some bad news. Our engines are malfunctioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we
12.
A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged chicken.He accelerated and passed the chicken.Three minutes later the chicken passed him again as he was driving at 100 kph.The man tried to catch the chicken but it ran down a side road
A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged chicken.He accelerated and passed the chicken.Three minutes later the chicken passed him again as he was driving at 100 kph.The man tried to catch the chicken but it ran down a side road
13.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerati
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerati
14.
Every day Nasreddin went to beg for alms in the market, and people used to make fun of him by playing the following trick:They would show him two coins, one worth ten times more than the other, and Nasrudin would always choose the smaller coin.The story w
Every day Nasreddin went to beg for alms in the market, and people used to make fun of him by playing the following trick:They would show him two coins, one worth ten times more than the other, and Nasrudin would always choose the smaller coin.The story w
15.
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.“What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?”“Throw out an anchor, Sir.”“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”“Throw out another anchor, Sir.”“And
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.“What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?”“Throw out an anchor, Sir.”“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”“Throw out another anchor, Sir.”“And
16.
A young man buys a chicken farm out in the country.He doesn't know much about chickens, So he decides to go consult with some of the locals.He finds an old farmer and asks if he might be able to give him some pointers.The old farmer tells him “sure, meet
A young man buys a chicken farm out in the country.He doesn't know much about chickens, So he decides to go consult with some of the locals.He finds an old farmer and asks if he might be able to give him some pointers.The old farmer tells him “sure, meet
17.
One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifleThe man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle.“Oh yes,” the clerk said“I'm not a very good shot, but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my da
One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifleThe man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle.“Oh yes,” the clerk said“I'm not a very good shot, but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my da
18.
Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.
Moses stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap.
Moses then parted the water and chipped the ball onto the gree
Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.
Moses stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap.
Moses then parted the water and chipped the ball onto the gree
19.
An elderly man told his wife, Honey we have done everything in our life except ride in an aeroplane.
Let’s do it, she said ok.
They went to the airport and after much bargaining with the owner of an open-top plane, the pilot/owner said,
I’ll take
An elderly man told his wife, Honey we have done everything in our life except ride in an aeroplane.
Let’s do it, she said ok.
They went to the airport and after much bargaining with the owner of an open-top plane, the pilot/owner said,
I’ll take
20.
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
21.
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,”You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned.
“I’m dead?No I can’t be! I’ve got too much
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,”You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned.
“I’m dead?No I can’t be! I’ve got too much
22.
A New York State trooper pulled a car over.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to the Bronx to do a show for the Children’s Hospital.
He didn’t want to be late.
A New York State trooper pulled a car over.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to the Bronx to do a show for the Children’s Hospital.
He didn’t want to be late.
23.
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
24.
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
25.
One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical compan
One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical compan
26.
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
27.
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
28.
An Englishman, an American and a Japanese are doing white water rafting, when all of a sudden they spot a huge drop to a waterfall they never knew was there.
They are moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom… Suddenly a genie appears.<
An Englishman, an American and a Japanese are doing white water rafting, when all of a sudden they spot a huge drop to a waterfall they never knew was there.
They are moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom… Suddenly a genie appears.<
29.
This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:This is something that happened in an Aged Care CentreThe people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.One morning, one of the residents didn't show up
This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:This is something that happened in an Aged Care CentreThe people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.One morning, one of the residents didn't show up
30.
An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said “You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me.. do you still have intercourse?” “Just a minute .. I’ll have to ask my husband,” she said.
She went out
An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said “You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me.. do you still have intercourse?” “Just a minute .. I’ll have to ask my husband,” she said.
She went out
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