1.
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says,
“Mom, what are those things on your chest!?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn’t forg
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says,
“Mom, what are those things on your chest!?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn’t forg
2.
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during anendless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal.The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Quee
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during anendless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal.The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Quee
3.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.Nobody can believe that any new baby can wei
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.Nobody can believe that any new baby can wei
4.
A guy was limping, so his friend asked him what was wrong.
He replied, “My foot bugs me sometimes. It’s just an old basketball injury.”
His friend said, “Uh, aren’t you kinda short for a basketball player?”
He replied, “Oh no, I never played bask
A guy was limping, so his friend asked him what was wrong.
He replied, “My foot bugs me sometimes. It’s just an old basketball injury.”
His friend said, “Uh, aren’t you kinda short for a basketball player?”
He replied, “Oh no, I never played bask
5.
This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off,“A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 57 times l
This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off,“A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 57 times l
6.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.'‘MrsSanders, please.'‘Speaking.'‘MrsSanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another MrSanders arrived
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.'‘MrsSanders, please.'‘Speaking.'‘MrsSanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another MrSanders arrived
7.
Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls.
After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have noth
Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls.
After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have noth
8.
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads “Ludwig van B
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads “Ludwig van B
9.
“Hey, man! How have you been?”“Oh, great,” says the other“I have recently bought an elephant.”“An elephant? Are you serious?” asks his friend.“Yeah, manThe kids love him, he's their best friendThey call him Mr TrunksHe washes my car with his trunkI don't
“Hey, man! How have you been?”“Oh, great,” says the other“I have recently bought an elephant.”“An elephant? Are you serious?” asks his friend.“Yeah, manThe kids love him, he's their best friendThey call him Mr TrunksHe washes my car with his trunkI don't
10.
A very proper business lady was on the lot of a Mercedes dealership in her local town.
She strolled through the vehicles until she found a car that caught her eye.
After looking it over for a while she noticed the car was unlocked.
She opened the
A very proper business lady was on the lot of a Mercedes dealership in her local town.
She strolled through the vehicles until she found a car that caught her eye.
After looking it over for a while she noticed the car was unlocked.
She opened the
11.
One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurtsI guess I should see a doctor.”His friend said, “Don't do thatThere's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.Simply put in a sample of your ur
One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurtsI guess I should see a doctor.”His friend said, “Don't do thatThere's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.Simply put in a sample of your ur
12.
A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention.
Over 50,000 blondes attend.
The leader stands on a stage and says, “Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereoty
A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention.
Over 50,000 blondes attend.
The leader stands on a stage and says, “Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereoty
13.
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
14.
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed.They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk homeOn the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.He t
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed.They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk homeOn the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.He t
15.
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did n
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did n
16.
Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated during WWII.
One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they ar
Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated during WWII.
One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they ar
17.
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner.
Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers.
Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm.
After he finished eating, his son w
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner.
Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers.
Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm.
After he finished eating, his son w
18.
The phone rings at the local police station.
“Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Craig.
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, policemen descend on the neighbor’s house.
Th
The phone rings at the local police station.
“Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Craig.
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, policemen descend on the neighbor’s house.
Th
19.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
20.
A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk
A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk
21.
The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:“Good morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?”“Well,” replies the manager politely, “We're closed this Christmas Eve, so we won't be opening today.”“I seeThank you for
The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:“Good morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?”“Well,” replies the manager politely, “We're closed this Christmas Eve, so we won't be opening today.”“I seeThank you for
22.
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”The voice from the other side responded:“You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?”“No,” replied
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”The voice from the other side responded:“You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?”“No,” replied
23.
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have.
wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have.
wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around
24.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
25.
Two men were marooned on an Island.One man pased back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.The first man said to the second man, “arn't you afraid we are about to die.”“No,” said the second man, “for you see I
Two men were marooned on an Island.One man pased back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.The first man said to the second man, “arn't you afraid we are about to die.”“No,” said the second man, “for you see I
26.
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get underway.
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get underway.
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through
27.
After driving for about six hours,…
a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while.
As soon as he falls asleep,…
He is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.
“Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger.
“Yeah, it’s
After driving for about six hours,…
a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while.
As soon as he falls asleep,…
He is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.
“Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger.
“Yeah, it’s
28.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure
29.
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married.My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it's a really good idea!My girlfriend?She is a dream!But there is something that bothers me! This something is
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married.My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it's a really good idea!My girlfriend?She is a dream!But there is something that bothers me! This something is
30.
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad